Friday, 24 June 2011

Is he the one?

The answer was no.

What I have learnt about blogging... From the wrong people.

Ok this post might cause a little bit of controversy but I love a good bit of sarcasm and some things just have to be said.
So without further delay, here is what I have learnt about blogging (from the wrong people)

1. Twitter is an essential tool in the blogging industry. People need to know who you are, and therefore tweeting your blog address 3 times in the space of 5 minutes before 8.30 in the morning, is the perfect way to start a glorious day of self promotion

2. Sticking with twitter, make sure you follow as many PR companies as possible and even better, get them to follow you back (Ask them, several times a minute if needed)

3. Once you have found said PR companies, it is important to let them know who you are. So tweet them. A lot.

4. Make sure you include as many PR companies in your regular daily tweets as possible. Name dropping is the key.
"I'm just getting in my @Lushltd bath, I will then dry my hair with my @CloudNineC9 straighteners and apply my @SleekmakeUP with my @Sigma_Beauty brushes"

5. Find a product you want. Then moan about it. A lot. (Don't forget to include the PR twitter otherwise this is just a waste of a tweet)

6. If you write a review of a product. Let the PR know you have reviewed their stuff. Then let them know again. And again. And again.

7. Tell them one more time. They might of forgotten.

8. If you love a product, rant and rave about it until everyone is sick of hearing about it.

9. If you hate a product, pretend you love it and see step 8.

10. Giveaways are a must. But don't you dare go giving away something for nothing. They must must MUST follow your blog, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Youtube, Dailybooth and Foursquare, Myspace and Bebo for one entry.

11. Everyone loves a good MAC review but they are few and far between with their freebies. Fear not, purchase your brand new, top of the range, swanky danky MAC blush, swatch, review, then simply sell on. You get to "review" everything fresh off the press and make your money back within a matter of weeks.

12. Make sure you have a good bitch about any other bloggers. Even if you kind of like them. The idea is to pick off the weaker members of the herd. After all, less bloggers means more freebies for you.

13. O and for god sake, if everyone else is buying it, make sure you do to.

So I think that is it. You are officially ready to blog  (the wrong way) do let me know if you have learnt anything about blogging from the wrong people and I will add them to the list (don't worry, I will of course mention your twitter)

Friday, 20 May 2011